Op3r

I saw this from reddit and its about why pork is allowed to be eaten by christians. Somebody asked about a tl;dr version of the bible. Here’s how it goes:

germainium [-]

Can you tl;dr the entire bible for me now? kthanxbai

poopooonyou [-]

The bible according to /b/

Old Testament; God creates the universe and he sees it’s serious buisness, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her “Apple of GTFO” (cuz she was already showing tits), She chooses the former and then she and her f*ck buddy Adam get banned from Eden for being trollbait. Then alot of serious incest occurs and we get the human race (which explains alot, really)

Then later God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the Jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it from behind him and killing the ancient Nazis. God lol’d.

Some other less important stuff happens, mostly composed of a bunch of idiots writing emo poetry about God for him to fap to.

New Testament; God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born, for his 13th birthday, God gave Jesus moar cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life.

Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school Jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had God mode turned on though, so he waited three days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life’s server, and laughed at the Jews.

After that 3 more guys tell the same story, then this fag Paul wrote an assload of crap about sex being evil and a bunch of other crap that Jesus never said.

THE END.

Jigsus [-]

Old testament tldr: Eye for an eye dawg.

New testament tldr: Be good to each other… and stop the eye poking you’re all going blind!

kybernetikos [-]

Actually Jesus did this (in those days, ‘The Law and the Prophets’ was a way of saying ‘The Bible’) :

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Yay, I hope I did not offend anyone. No this is not to blaspheme the name of God but just a jib to elicit some laughs.

Napapanahong kanta ni gloc9.

Samahan niyo akong ma lss dito.

I’m bored up to my wits when I encountered this song.

Serious stuff going on.

Hahahah I found this video cos of my cousin’s cousin posted it at facebook.

Enjoy.

Dota vs Girlfriend

I was bored then I saw this!

The cupcake must be that good!

from this site